The parents are obligated to select the decent partner for their children by carefully observing the moral qualities of the couple. They should force their children excessively because this should subsequently cause them to suffer, but it is not advisable to let them behave whimsically as their lack of experience would spoil their lives. Eliminate the custom of excessive money and dowry demand.
The bribe and bribegroom’s families must not be exacting to each other nor contriving expensive ceremonies which impoverish the new spouses.
When grand parents or parents passed away, we still maintain old traditions, except for the following amends:
Now that we have taken refuge with Buddha, it is important to faithfully pray and to mobilize your fellow adherents to pray for the dead to be reborn into the permanent land. Do not hire liturgists, burn votive papers, and joss craftwork, which cost monies for nothing, as people understand their bodies will be decomposable, so once they died, they should be buried in an secluded place; do not let the stink harm the living, that is all. If people want to pay filial piety to their dead, this should have been done while the latter were alive. It depends on the merits and faithfulness which the children have had. It does not depend on the prayers of paid liturgists. Set up a makeshift table in the open air, pray and quietly transit the coffin to the burial site.
As far as offering to the grand parents or parents, you can offer whatever you already have on their commomerative days, according to the tradition. As for serving guests and neighbors, it is up to the family provided it is convenient and simple.